Wherein I Affectionately Mock My Student’s Work

I put together a simply enormous post today at work. Unfortunately because I am an idiot I have left it at work. I shall probably post it tomorrow thought to make up for the missed post on Tuesday.

Until then here’s some work my students did recently.

The grammar point my san-nensei have been working on recently is passive sentence construction. The exercise they have been doing is to create their own countries and then tell me what food is eaten in that country, what drinks are drunks, clothes are worn, etc, etc. They can do anything they like but I gave them a hint sheet with some normal and some very odd answers.

Some of the answers were fantastic. For example, most of the boys said that curry was eaten in their country and beer was drunk in their country, a combination that made me feel so much at home. Oddly nearly every single girl opted for orange juice, what they have against tea, beer and wine I don&t know.

But best of all are some of the names for countries they came up with.
Here’s a short list.

Ringo-land – No word on whether that’s the Beatle or the Japanese word for apple.

Dream-land – Not very funny but I did a count and nearly 18 different kids opted
for Dream-land. I can only assume there is some anime or computer
game with a Dream-land in it.

Never-land – Similarly I lost track of all the Never-lands that I got.

Lucky-land – That’s Ireland, surely?

EVA-land – Where dragons are seen apparently, and not angels as one might
expect*

A land – Pragmatical at least.

Star-land – Hollywood right.

Stars-land – Ah, but somebody else went one better.

BIOHAZARD-land – BIOHAZARD is the Japanese game for the computer game we know as
Resident Evil in the U.K. and the States. Although I remember the
first one coming out when I was there age it’s still incredibly
popular with my kids. In BIOHAZARD-land Humans are eaten, blood is
drunk, suits are worn, Umbrella events will be held (the villains
in the Resident Evil games are called the Umbrella cooperation),
zombles (bless) are seen and oddly the Olympics were held.

As if BIOHAZARD-land weren’t disturbing enough, two different kids
in two separate classes came up with the idea.

Free-land – Where workers control the means of production!

Cat-land – Where people eat dogs.

Special Beautiful Island – Which is extra specially beautiful because we all dress
like pirates.

Beautiful-land – Sure it’s beautiful, but it isn’t special beautiful is it.

Atari-land – Finally, a country where I can be free to enjoy classic 80’s
gaming.

Smile-land – I don’t think I’d fit in there.

Future-land – Welcome! To the world of tomorrow!

Disney-land
Disney-sea
Disney-rina – They’re taking over the world!

Silent Hill – Apparently kangaroos are seen in Silent Hill. Now I don’t remember
any kangaroos but I do know about the evil nurses.

Scary-land – Sure they eat humans there and drink blood but how scary can it be
without evil nurses.

Tea-land – This sounds like my kind of place.

Japon – Bad spelling or deliberate humour, how would you mark it?

Peace-land – Peace-land apparently has dinosaurs and wrestling. I propose it’s
name be changed to awesome ruckus world.

Interesting-land – Ironically this sheet was otherwise very boring.

Ultra-land – Well that’s what I interpreted it as. The kid actually wrote Uruta-
land, which I initially read as Urethra-land because I have a sick,
sick mind.

and finally.

THE FRONT OF ARMAMENT

STEAK IS EATEN IN THE FRONT OF ARMAMENT

BEER IS DRUNK IN THE FRONT OF ARMAMENT

LEATHER JACKETS AND LEATHER PANTS ARE WORN IN THE FRONT OF ARMAMENT

TANKS ARE SEEN IN THE FRONT OF ARMAMENT

THE WARS WERE HELD IN THE FRONT OF ARMAMENT

THE VERY BIG WARDS WILL BE HELD IN THE FRONT OF ARMAMENT

I have no idea what game or tv show the front of armament is from but there is no way the kid made it up on his own. He actually wrote it like that as well, all in caps with no punctuation. Of course I had to mark him down for that but I really, really didn’t want to because THE VERY BIG WARS made me piss myself.

You want some more, okay how about this.

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4 comments
  1. Jennifer said:

    I realize that this was over a year ago, and you've probably had this pointed out to you countless times by now, but the Front of Armament is a reference to the mangas Crows and Worst by Takahashi Hiroshi, and that kid who made it is (was?) officially the most badass kid in your class. If you're still in contact with him, you can let him know that there's a fellow Tesshou-worshipper languishing away in state benefits paperwork here in Texas who thinks he is a bad mofo. (And totally didn't deserve to be marked down. Sorry.):D

    Like

  2. Adam said:

    Thanks for the comment Jennifer.Yes it has been pointed out to me that it comes from an anime. THE VERY BIG WARS still makes me laugh to this day.Sadly being a 3-nensei from over a year ago he has moved onto High School now so I'm no longer in contact. I did mark him down for writing ALL IN CAPS but he got full marks for the grammar and originality so I think he still managed an A.And if you think that is bad ass nothing compares to the kid who wrote "Tomorrow I will fight a bear!" when learning about the future tense.

    Like

  3. Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!

    Like

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