One Man’s Slow Public Descent into Chocolate Based Madness Continues

You know what, I don’t think I’m ever going to stop writing about Kit-Kats.
Despite moving back to the U.K. my link to the world of Kit-Kat reviewing/mockery* has persisted. Friends visiting from Japan always bring me some new ones and I’ve sometimes perused J-List and considered ordering some of the more esoteric efforts.
In fact just today I ordered this

Yes, that’s £50 worth of Kit-Kats. Yes I completely understand that I have a problem. No, my girlfriend was not happy. Yes, I bought it anyway.

Also it’s always been far and away the most popular thing I’ve ever done on Mummyboon. For some reason people just love them some strange Kit-Kat flavours.

It’s also becoming much less of a Japanese thing. When I left for Japan we had maybe two flavours in the U.K., regular chocolate and orange chocolate. Now they’ve added mint to that line up and the peanut butter filled Chunkys I wrote about last year. It seems British people, although less likely to dig into some lemon vinegar, do like a strange Kit-Kat as well.

So what better way to celebrate yet another resurrection of this blog, and my first tentative steps towards a proper writing career, than some more Kit-Kat reviews? None whatsoever, so let’s dig in.

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Chocolate Fudge, Hazelnut, Mint and Coconut Kit-Kat Chunkys
I wrote last year about Nestle’s “Choose a Chunky Champion” contest. Peanut Butter won by the way despite being orange being better. Evidently it was such a successful idea that they’ve decided to bring it out again. This time around, however, the flavours are much less diverse. I also think that retailers weren’t too keen on the promotion as I wasn’t able to find these new flavours in as many places. The public still seems keen as the first time I saw the standee in Morrisons they had completely sold out. I’d like to get these every year but I suspect this might be the last time Nestle will do this.

Nestle’s marketing department also continues to make it clear that they know who I am and that I’m out there writing these by directing their advertising straight at me. That might sound a bit paranoid but how else do you explain the fact that they’ve now teamed one obsession of mine (Kit-Kats) with my all time greatest obsession, superheroes.

That advert is terrible but I’m sure I’ve had dreams exactly like it. Or nightmares. Or waking paranoid delusions.

…maybe I should see that psychiatrist.

Anyway, enough preamble, let’s sort out the packaging.

Like last year the packaging is standardised and like last year that is such a simple touch but such a great one. Considering Japan would come out with two themed flavours with totally different packaging styles I appreciate that Nestle U.K.’s design team can at least grasp that having everything in a competition look matching is a good idea.

In fact it’s even more standardised with all the fonts being the same too.

That said it’s a step down from last year mostly because the rosette is gone. That was a nice touch, original, eye catching and it tied into the theme. Now we’ve just got a generic angled box. They have instead given us a little doodle of a mint leaf, hazelnut, some fudge and a palm leaf but I still miss the rosettes.

Chocolate Fudge

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Astonishingly chocolate fudge actually contains a layer of chocolate fudge. I can’t help but feel that this is cheating a little bit since the others presumably have to be flavoured chocolate and if there is one thing these reviews have proven it’s that Nestle can’t make flavoured chocolate properly. I’m also surprised Nestle would spring for something so expensive so I can only assume it’s crap chocolate fudge. The fact that this is not the highest calories of the four also suggests that.

It’s actually very, very nice. For starters it smells much more chocolatey than a regular Kit-Kat and the chocolate fudge filling tastes a lot more like chocolate than the regular Kit-Kat chocolate coating does. The textures are nicely balanced too crispy wafer, smooth chocolate, slightly chewy fudge. It takes longer to e    at than a normal kit-kat and that chewing time spreads the chocolatey flavour around your mouth more.

It is sweet, sweeter than I’d like in fact but weirdly the after taste is quite bitter, like you’d get with dark chocolate.

I’m a bit shocked here actually. I was totally prepared for this to be crap but it’s actually a bit of a hit.

Mint

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Ever so slightly darker chocolate than a regular Kit-Kat and my gosh doesn’t it smell of mint. You could clean your teeth with this judging by odour alone. This is another entry that’s a little bit of a cheat since Nestle already manufacture a mint Kit-Kat for the U.K. market and this is basically a scaled up version. I haven’t eaten one of those in years though so I can’t remember what they’re like.

Like after eights apparently. It’s mint chocolate guys, you already know whether you like that or not. Personally I’ve never been a huge fan and this isn’t changing my mind. It is minty, really, really minty. Mintier than a toothpaste factory that also prints money. In fact that mint overpowers the chocolate almost totally. With Nestle chocolate that’s not necessarily a bad thing though. It does leave a nice fresh after taste but that after taste does not go well with tea. Maybe one for the coffee drinkers amongst you.

Hazelnut

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I can’t eat this yet I can still taste mint.

Nope, no tea isn’t washing it down let’s try water.

Nope, no, still minty. Maybe a glass of wine.

Bleurgh….that’s that’s not a nice combination of flavours guys.

I might have to have another stab at this in an hour or so.

Hazelnut Take 2

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That’s much better, I can actually taste something other than mint now.

Right then Hazelnut. Weirdly whilst all the other packets have a two tone colour design hazelnut just has flat brown, I wonder why. It’s also the most calorific of this year’s crop.

Like the chocolate fudge this actually has a layer of hazelnut cream. Again like the fudge this does a lot to improve the texture and mouthfeel and spreads the flavour around your mouth more evenly.
It’s a nice flavour too, nutty, sweet, creamy and not as sweet as I usually find kit-kats. I’m not a big nut fan normally but this, unsurprisingly, has a nice praline quality to it. It’s also a really complex flavour that changes tones at least four times and leaves behind a nice smooth after taste.

Between this and the fudge it’s a tough call. Both are very similar and it really comes down to how much you like praline.

Coconut

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I left the one I’m most dreading until last since I’m really not a fan of coconut. I like it in curries where it basically serves as a non-diary cream but desiccated or fresh coconut I just find to be chewy and it dries the mouth out.

That said I don’t mind the flavour of coconut but nor do I love it either. It’s just kind of there.

Like the mint the chocolate is darker than usual, which is usually a good sign. Also like the mint this is a flavoured chocolate rather than being some kind of bounty construction.

The smell is very coconutty indeed but the taste initially is mostly just chocolate. Sweet, terrible nestle chocolate. Once you chew it though the coconut really comes through. That’s nicer than the mint which went MINT!!! MINT mint mint mi-choco-MINT! Instead we get a complex flavour that changes tones.

It’s also doesn’t have the strong after taste. Although the flavour comes through really strongly after a few bites it’s quite refreshing and soon disappears. And unlike desiccated coconut it doesn’t dry out my mouth.

So which is best? If you want my opinion I’ll be voting for the chocolate fudge. I expected little of it but it really delivered and improved on the standard Kit-Kat Chunky. Which one do you like best though? You have until the 15th of March to go to Kit-Kat’s facebook page and vote, but let me know which you like best here.

*I think I might be the only person in that world to be honest. It’s a little bit lonely, still, I have plenty of time to read**
**Now I just need to find my glasses, crunch, wait, Nooooooooooooo

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