I have a big Kit-Kat related announcement to unveil to the world shortly but before then I have some Kit-Kat related house cleaning to do. Literally, in that these things are taking up space in my house. So let’s discuss a few more of the internet’s favourite chocolate bar. Okay my favourite chocolate bar. Okay, my chocolate bar I have inescapably affixed myself to despite not really liking them all that much.
Cookies and Cream
We’re starting off with an English flavour for a change and one that seems designed to stick around for a while rather than being a strictly temporary thing, cookies and cream. Obviously this is a pretty standard flavour combination but it’s a slightly odd one because, well, kit-kat already is a biscuit, so you’re doing at least in part a cookie flavoured cookie. That seems a little redundant. This is only available as part of Kit-Kat’s multipack line, a long strip of foil containing 8 x 2 fingered standard smaller Kit-Kats. The same line also does a mint and an orange flavour and once upon a time, long, eons ago, did a caramac flavour that was my favourite sweet in the world as a child.
And speaking of childhood the kats inside this packet are a huge nostalgic throwback. You see Kit-Kat nowadays usually comes packaged in a plastic wrapper, it’s cheaper, it’s less wasteful and it keeps the chocolate fresh. But it used to come in a foil wrapper with a bit of paper around the foil with the logo and design printed on it. Obviously that used to be cheaper until cheap plastic production became the norm. But in the multipack line the individual kats are foil wrapped! This is incredibly exciting for me and deeply nostalgic. For those of you who don’t know there is a set way you must open a foil Kit-Kat. And god help you if you do not abide by this in my presence, no jury in England would convict me because we all know this is the only right and proper way. First, you remove the paper sleeve, preferably whole. Then you run your finger along the middle of the foil in between the two bars of the KitKat opening up a thin slit. Then with the foil still on you break the bar in two. This means each individual bar still has its own foil wrapper attached, keeping them fresh if you want to space out your eating which was one of the original reasons Kit-Kats were so popular and which is something no child has done in the history of ever. Other than being foil wrapped the rest of the packaging for the cookies and cream is dull and functional, red colour, blue colour, picture of a cookie and some cream, big logo, calorie info, yawn, yawn, yawn. I will give it props for making the individual wrappers solid blue rather than feeling the need to cram some red on there.
The chocolate is two toned with standard Kit-Kat chocolate on the bottom and white chocolate on top applied in a sort of wavy fashion so it isn’t evenly mixed. The smell is pure old fashioned regular Kit-Kat with no suggestion of creaminess. The taste? Really, very good. I wouldn’t have called this cookies and cream but the mix of chocolate and white chocolate works well as you’d expect. I also think the white chocolate is a cut above what most companies use since it is nice and creamy not just cotton wooly. There is no depth of flavour though, you get chocolate, you get cream and then you get ultra sweet and an after taste that’s just pure saccharine (despite this apparently not being artificially sweetened). The uber sweet after taste works well with tea though and really that’s what you need a Kit-Kat to do.
Yet another green tea variant but one that ties in to the cookies and cream quite nicely since it has a layer of chocolate on the bottom too. Unlike the cookies and cream though we have solid blocks here no mixing of flavours. Japan doesn’t like colours mixing. I’ve mentioned matcha before on this website and how I really don’t get it. Matcha is the special green tea made from a concentrated green powder. If you’ve ever seen anyone mention Japanese tea ceremony this is the stuff they use. It’s not regular green tea (which I like) but an incredibly bitter blend that is basically undrinkable on its own. Typically it isn’t drunk on its own though but rather combined with a ridiculously sweet cake, or mixed into a drink with other sweeteners. I get that mixing sweet and bitter is nice and adds depth of flavour but matcha is typically too bitter and the cake too sweet too work for me. It works quite well as a Kit-Kat flavour though since the sweet chocolate nestle makes contrasts with the bitterness of the flavouring, I don’t know how adding more chocolate would help though.
Whilst the U.K. has fairly standard kit-kat packaging Japan makes it in seemingly any size they like. The U.K. has chunkys, four bars and two bars. Japan has four bars, two bars, two bars but shorter (minis) chunkys, single bars, single bars that are thicker than a normal bar and here we have a single bar which is thicker than a normal bar but also shorter. I’ve photographed it next to a single bar from the U.K. for comparison. I don’t know what the thinking behind that is but I assume it has something to do with when and with what you’re supposed to eat each flavour. Or maybe a result of the factory machines running idle, I dunno, I’m an insider with nestle. Hmmm, I really should get one of those. I can suggest flavour combinations and ask what the hell they were thinking with lemon vinegar. Starting with the main packet I remember why I reviewed the packets in the first place, they’re hilariously over designed. I count 18 distinct design elements on that image and that’s not including the calorie information, that is ridiculous. Do we really need 2 separate labels telling us that this Kit-Kat is fuwafuwa (fluffy)? Or 3 telling us it’s ujimatacha latte flavoured (2 in Japanese, 1 in English)? Other than the over design there’s some not bad stuff going on here. Other than the big splodge of eye spoiling red the colours work well. The kat itself is brown on the bottom, green on top so the packet is brown on the bottom, green on top. But the swirls and the various shades of green give it some visual interest. They also evoke the colours of starbucks which is never a bad thing if you’re selling a coffee or tea flavour. I like how the green colours seem to be rising like smoke from the latte. I also like the addition of white, a colour from the latte, to break up the colours and help the kat photo pop from the page.
The individual wrapper has the same problems and strengths, nice colours that work well together and suggest coffee shop, overly designed with too many elements, plus a big eye spoiling red splodge. So how does it taste? Well firstly it smells really strongly of green tea the minute you open the packet. And these Kit-Kats are fairly old by now, I got them before X-Mas, so I can only imagine what they smelled like fresh. Unless the odour has had time to develop. Like a fine wine. Vintage Kit-Kats? No, better not give them ideas. The first thing I noticed is there’s about half the wafer you’d expect and a lot more chocolate. And the fluffy chocolate lives up to its billing. From the picture I was expecting something similar to an Aero (if you’re not British google it) but it actually just is really soft chocolate. Really soft, softer than I can remember tasting before. It’s almost more like a mouse but just slightly firmer than a mousse would be. Taste wise it’s the reverse of what I’d expect, rather than being bitter with a sweet aftertaste the sweetness hits early and then the bitter matcha flavour cuts through. It’s nice and creamy though with a soft milky finish assisted by the fluffy chocolate. This has remarkable depth of flavour and subtlety for a Kit-Kat and doesn’t commit the cardinal sin of most kit-kats, even green tea ones, of being way too sweet. This is a nice, balanced, adult biscuit. The chocolate is advertised as milk but I think its darker than regular nestle chocolate anyway. This is a winner here guys, so much so that I’ve eaten three just to do this review.
Now they’re just being silly. Less a flavour and more a concept here we have an inside out Kit-Kat, a deconstructed Kit-Kat, a Kit-Kat with the wafer on the outside. Madness! Now, I spend a lot of time on this website moaning about the shitty, shitty chocolate nestle makes and how it mostly tastes of soap. But it isn’t like the wafer is the saving grace of the Kit-Kat. Nobody likes wafer, nobody craves more wafer. Wafer is not exciting. It’s there to provide a texture and taste of nothing, that’s all it does or indeed can do. You need it to add structure and crunch to chocolate it is not an end in itself. Ah but this is “Gran Wafer” not plain old regular wafer, it’s darker in colour. So maybe the wafer is flavoured itself and that makes up for it, or it’s some kind of special wafer. Since Gran could mean literally anything maybe it makes you orgasm in your mouth. Let’s see.
Once again they’ve created an entirely new size for this flavour. This time we’re as thick as a regular bar but less than half the size, but a little bit taller. It’s also packaged differently, coming in a fancy box instead of a bog standard bag and containing 10 kats, which is more than you usually get in a box. For once the red isn’t an eyesore. Since this isn’t a flavour per se but more a different style of Kit-Kat using the red and white makes sense. They’ve also improved the basic design, adding a gradient and some gold to make it look more expensive and adult. They’ve also added some brown to the colour scheme to denote lovely yummy chocolate and again to be a bit more adult. It’s all the same Kit-Kat colours but it looks like a far classier product. We’ve even got gold foil lettering! And a little gold thing with crossed hexagon pattern announcing sakusaku wafer (crispy wafers). Because why not ad an elaborately designed gold thing, people like those right?
The individual wrappers keep the red gradient and gold colours but spend most of the space on the back explaining how you open them, which turns out to be unnecessarily fiddly. I have never struggled to open a kit-kat before but this required me to find a specific unmarked area and pull in opposite directions, spilling wafer crumbs all over myself. Not a good start. The wafer is certainly much crispier, in fact it’s a much chewier and chunkier biscuit over all. It’s not flavoured though that I can tell. The chocolate is much, much richer than a regular Kit-Kat. In fact it almost tastes more like cocoa powder than chocolate. That’s a good thing because, as mentioned previously, nestle chocolate is usually terrible but this is nice, rich, even slightly bitter. However, the extra wafer and the cocoa powder add up to a slightly unpleasant texture that coasts your mouth so the slightly bitter after taste tends to linger for a good long while. Whilst the richer chocolate is nice the extra wafer adds nothing really and I’d have rather had a dark chocolate regular Kit-Kat. Overall these aren’t brilliant but they are an improvement on a regular Kit-Kat and they would work well with tea or coffee. Well, that’s all for this week, next week is the last of my pokemon reviews and then the week after we start looking at every regional Kit-Kat ever. Yes, you heard me, all of them. All £50.00 worth. God help me I am a sick man.