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Engrish

No post tonight, my brain is tired. 

Instead you get this.

A deer attempting to eat metal.

A totem pole of robots.

A misogynist bar.

An actual record found in an actual shop in Shibuya.
(Obviously German beer drinking music was popular enough to warrant a sequel)

The most unappealing Italian restaurant ever.

RanDOM ENglisH CapitALIsAtioN

Something highly disturbing from Shinjuku.

And the most excited shoe shop you have ever seen.

and frankly you should be thankful you even get that.

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You know, I think this sight has been running long enough now that I should actually show you the Mummyboon T-shirt.

Sadly the shirt has shrunk a bit in the wash and has some major bobbling issues on the back, so I can’t really wear it anymore.

I’m going to keep it forever though. It is my first and still my favourite example of an Engrish t-shirt.

The slogan that inspired a site ladies and gentlemen.

Huge apologies for the lack of updates guys.

I’ve had several irons in the fire recently re: extra-curricular projects and it has reduced my ability to blog.
Ordinarily I’d squeeze out something small and insignificant but the problem is that I’ve been sitting on an absolutely massive blog post that will take a lot of work. It’s also something very original and special and I want to get it right.
I should get it posted tomorrow.
After that and starting from next week I’m going to set myself a target of doing a post 5 days a week. This will likely mean many shorter posts and I don’t expect I will hit this target but I am nonetheless going to try and see what happens. Hopefully I can get some more work out and re-establish a routine.
Until then please enjoy some more brilliant engrish from my students.

I was able to spend the winter break very enhanced.  It said to the New Year’s day visit to a shrine in the sinto shrine at the New Year, the sealed lucky bag was bought, it went to play, and it played with the cousin. It was very happy. I want you to come at the sprng vacation early.

Too tired for a proper post right now faithful readers so it is odds and ends time again.


Beginning with yet more fabulous Engrish from my students.

This weeks offerings are statements written from memory that my students said to me during their interview tests.

 

“I am my grandmother”

 

“I helped cook my mother.”


“I exerted a cultural festival.”

 

And finally

 

“It was doog.”


Holy Balls of Fire Batman the Earth is Exploding

For those of you who don&t follow the news in Japan (and why should you really) a Volcano has just exploded in the Nagano Prefecture.

There is a video at the link with more details.

And this is a time lapse video of the actual eruption.

I was bitterly jealous that I was missing out on Britain’s worst snowstorm for 30 years but now I am excited again! I live in a country with active volcanoes.

Oh Crap.

I LIVE IN A COUNTRY WITH ACTIVE VOLCANOES!!!

(but seriously no damage whatsoever has been reported. Japanese people seem naively trusting of natural disasters but even here people tend to avoid mountains that hurl things at you periodically)

Shameless Shilling




A friend of mine living in Japan has recently launched a blog.

I’m adding it to the links roll. Go check it out if you’re bored at work, some of it is funny stuff.

Would you like to see a brain in a jar?

I seem to be posting a lot of links today but here is one more about haikyo, or derelict sites in Japan. Apparently this person found a derelict doctor’s surgery complete with medical instruments and a preserved brain in a jar in the middle of nowhere.

I can’t decide if this is the most frightening or the most awesome thing I have ever heard. I am however intrigued by this haikyo thing and I aim to do a bit more reading up on it.

In fact whilst I’m at it here is another haikyo in a hotel.

It’s fascinating that in a country with such a premium on space that this can happen.

Tomorrow; forget it baby, it’s China Town.

Okay, I concede I am not quite living up to my New Year resolution.

Still, let’s see if I can improve things from this point on; starting with an old favourite, amusing stuff my students have written recently.

I have recently begun working at a new school (again, gah!) and one of the first things the teachers at my new school did was dump a load of work on me that my new students had written over the winter break.

This was a comedy goldmine.

Apparently at my new school the teachers had been very good at introducing the students to some higher level vocabulary. Words like pleasure, one (in the sense of oneself or one does), restless, etc, etc. However the students weren’t quite so hot on how to properly conjugate these new words, leading to such examples as…

Well, see for yourself.

“I will pleasure me in winter vacation.”

“I will pleasure in winter vacation. I want come early.”

“I want to go to Okinawa because I want to raid a banana.”

“My dream is ueding dtheina. Becoues I think many peapol smailing get home. They’re get married to happy. They’re never happy mamols plezant for them.”

“I exerted a cultural festival.”

“I like my bedroom because it is very restless.” (he meant messy)

“”2nd term was great! There was field day, culture day and eisteddfod.”

Cue conversation between me and the Japanese teacher of English.

Me: What do you think eisteddfod means, I can’t think what English word it could be.

JTE: Hmmm. No, idea. I’ll read the Japanese version they wrote.

Okay apparently they mean music festival.

Me: How did they get eisteddfod from music festival? Does it sound similar in Japanese?

JTE: No, let me check my dictionary.

Me: What does it say.

JTE: Apparently it’s an arts festival in Wales.

Me: What! Wales!

(cue gales of laughter for ages)

There were two other entries that are absolutely heartbreaking too.

For example, one girl was talking about the Akashi suspension bridge and wrote:

“When I saw it, I was happy, for the first time.”

Now obviously she meant “when I saw it for the first time I was happy.” But even so

don’t you just wanna give her a hug?

The other heartbreaking one was in answer to the question. “How was your second

term?”

“What!!! How was it!!! It was terrible. Oh my god!!! I studied very hard but I love the

comic books too much. When my mother came in she yelled at me and took the comic

book. The next day, my mother took all the comic books. I was very sad. I didn’t get a

good grade.”

Awwww. Rest assured I gave you a good grade fellow comic fan.

Hey guys, sorry to say but it looks like I’ll be entering low content mode for the foreseeable future. The combination of upcoming work regarding Christmas an insane amount of work to do at school and my invalid girlfriend who needs nursing this week (not quite, she just had a wisdom tooth out) means that I likely won&t have any proper posts up until after Christmas.

I’ll try to have stuff up but don’t expect anything major.

And on that note I leave you with the following fine example of Engrish I’ve been saving for just such an occasion.

Hey guys. New post tomorrow for sure. I just came back from a visit to Hiroshima and I have lots of amazing photos to share. Right now though I’m absolutely knackered so just a quick filler.

birds fling delightly

Seen on a cup in our Hotel.

(topic title means “one moment please”)

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